The Surgery Chronicles, Part I

I didn't know what to expect. Would the pain be long and difficult to manage? Would it linger for days on end? Would I want to sleep for the better part of a few days? How much time would I want to spend in bed? 

To maybe no one's surprise, everything surrounding the surgery has been far better than anticipated. Which is definitely a good thing! But I'm barely a week removed from it so I'm sure the challenges will come in waves, much like everything else.

Megan offered to spend the night on Wednesday night so that she could take me bright and early to the surgical center on Thursday morning. She has had a couple of surgeries herself there and was familiar with the process. She explained all the things to expect and that certainly helped as I navigated unknown territory.

My surgery was scheduled at 7:00 a.m. so we got there at 5:30 to check in and begin all of the pre-op stuff. They had me sign a few forms and I sat in the waiting room for just a few minutes before I hugged Megan and they took me back. I was then weighed and they took a urine sample to ensure that I was not pregnant. 

In the pre-op room, they had me change into a surgical gown and put a singular compression sock on my good leg. The nurse explained a cool little trick with the plastic bag to get the sock on easier, but I was able to get it on without it. We enjoyed a laugh about how it was like putting on pantyhose.

She then put an IV in on my left hand and soon, the anesthesiologist came over to give me the nerve block. They clearly had given me something to relax at this point because while I remember being stuck in the leg repeatedly with a very fine gauge needle, it was far less painful than the stick to my hand. I watched the sonogram to see what he was doing, but the relaxing meds really created a brain fog. I do remember the doctor coming in and asking me what we were doing that day. I guess I answered her correctly because they were then wheeling me into the operating room.

I saw people moving about for maybe 30 seconds and then the next thing I knew I was waking up in a different room. There wasn't even a countdown!

Within seconds of opening my eyes, I felt like a nurse was right there talking me through things. I felt zero pain. Everything was just kind of soft and warm at that point in time. Eventually, she got me to sit up and I very quickly realized I needed to pee. She helped me get to the bathroom in a wheelchair and then I sat there while I waited for Megan to come get me. I started to get more and more lucid as I sat there and was surprised at how alert and awake I thought I felt. It was only later when I was trying to recall what they said to me that I realized I was unsure of my own memory. I thought that I asked about the cartilage repair as that would mean I was going to have to be 6 weeks non-weight-bearing. But then I wasn't sure of what the response was. And I never saw my surgeon after the surgery to ask questions about how it went.

Megan got me home and into the house. We luckily had a stairlift installed for Adam in June so I rode it upstairs and crutched myself to bed. When we bought our Sleep Number bed years ago, we went ahead and got the head and foot lift option which I was very grateful for in this moment. I tried to nap, but really wasn't very sleepy. I closed my eyes for maybe 30 minutes trying to sleep, but gave up and decided to just read instead.

To no one's surprise, I loathe lying around in bed if I am feeling even the slightest bit okay. I convinced Megan and Adam that I should go downstairs so we could all watch the new Ted Lasso episode together and have dinner. I wasn't in any pain yet though I was having a lot of burning/tingling in my toes.

I went to bed at a fairly normal time, but didn't sleep all that great due to the burning/tingling, my foot being elevated, and the cast on my foot. They put me in a cast that has a hard outer shell that runs along the calf and sole of my foot. The portion touching the top of my foot and the shin is cotton and the whole thing is wrapped in an industrial elastic bandage. It stays on for 2 weeks until I go into a removable boot. It's kind of weird to not know what the incisions or wound looks like. I can feel pain on the side of the ankle where the procedure was done, but it's impossible to pinpoint if it's skin pain from the incision or from all of the work that they did under the skin.

The next morning, I was feeling good enough to go downstairs and do some Legos at the kitchen table with my foot propped up. I received a call from the surgeon's office to check in on my pain and at that time I was feeling pretty good. I also spoke with the medical assistant and they confirmed that I did have both the internal brace surgery to repair the ligaments as well as the cartilage surgery that meant I would be non-weight-bearing for even longer (six weeks!). 

Megan and I ordered lunch from Chicken Salad Chick, which is one of my favorites. As we were finishing up lunch, that is when the nerve block must have worn off. I had just taken a hydrocodone (I was taking 1 every 6 hours), but my pain ratcheted up to probably an eight out of 10. I was extremely uncomfortable for the remaining part of the afternoon and couldn't even nap because it was keeping me awake. I'll note though that the pain was still far less than when I rolled it horribly in March and had to drag myself out of the woods for 6 miles so perspective is everything.

I took a shower late that afternoon as a distraction and wanted to make sure that I could handle doing that without any help. I did let Megan put the shower seat in the shower, but otherwise I was able to do everything independently. I bought a silicone sock thing from Amazon that goes over the cast and allows for it to stay dry. It still is super awkward and it's very hard shower with one leg, but I'm getting the hang of it.

Luckily, the pain started to subside in the evening and I got a little bit better sleep that night. On Saturday, my pain was moving between a 2-4 all day. I Lego'd, I watched TV, and read. 

Sunday was more of the same and the pain seemed to be manageable enough to cut down to just a half dose of everything. I really didn't want to be on the prescription medication if I didn't need to be so I switched to just taking the over the counter stuff during the day and only a half a Hydrocodone at night. By Tuesday night I was ready to just do over the counter stuff. I tried doing a bunch of things independently around the house to ensure that I could keep myself, Adam, and the puppies fed and alive over the following weeks. I was already getting restless!

On Monday, I returned to work, which luckily is just downstairs for me. I had a huge presentation to get ready for on Tuesday so it was nice to try to ease into things for a day. I tried to keep my leg elevated as much as possible at my desk and was grateful that I could be in comfortable clothes while I was otherwise uncomfortable.

Megan helped us out that morning and Adam had a doctor's appointment so I was alone for the first time in a few days. Luckily, nothing exciting happened. My sister came over that afternoon to help us through at least Thursday. I was initially feeling good enough that I thought maybe we could handle it without her. But I knew I should just take the help and try to not be superwoman. 

And in hindsight, I'm very grateful that I didn't change my mind because on Tuesday afternoon, our downstairs air conditioning went kaput and I needed her help for a lot more! It was getting increasingly warm and at first I thought it was just the unit couldn't keep up on a hot August day. But then I realized the upstairs one was working just fine so clearly something was wrong. Tasha did a bunch of troubleshooting, going in and out of the attic and checking out the outside unit. We tried all the tricks we knew and then Adam called someone to come out to look at it the following morning.

The good news is that the upstairs one was working and that is where we sleep. But both units were original to the house when we built it in 2008 and the likelihood of the other one going out in the next couple of years was very high. We talked about getting both replaced just to save ourselves the pain of going through this all again. The repair person basically told us that we could put a $1,200 bandaid on it, but it was not going to fix the ultimate problem and it was going to have to be replaced anyway. So very quickly, we ended up deciding to just have our entire system replaced with new ductwork and furnaces. They could come do it the following day thankfully. 

This was Wednesday. So I'm not even a week out of surgery yet. That night, I decided to see if I could help Adam independently to get ready for bed. This involves getting him undressed and swinging his legs into bed. We'd kind of practiced before I had the surgery just to see if it was even possible, but obviously it's a little different when you know you have full use of your legs. It definitely took way longer than usual, but we figured it out. I did the same thing the following morning and we felt pretty okay with having Tasha go home that day so she could escape our chaos and get back to her family. 

I was very grateful for her cooking, helping Adam, and the billion hours she spent cleaning my yard up. She found a hole in the backyard near the foundation of the house where it looks like water was pooling. I'm hoping that it's just that we need to have our gutters cleaned and nothing more serious. She offered to go check the gutters, but after getting on the ladder and barely above my shoulders, she agreed that it was not a good idea. Also, what morons we must've looked like with me in my cast “supporting" the ladder from a chair. Our mom and grandma are the exact same stubborn, do-it-myself people. She'd scold me to stop doing things on the scooter or crutches, but no one knows my toxic independence better than her. 

Luckily, Megan has a gutter person and hopefully we'll resolve that issue THIS week.

The HVAC team came out on Thursday to install everything and they were here for nearly 12 hours, but they were able to get everything fixed and operating smoothly. I was very happy that they stayed to complete the job, but I was so physically and mentally exhausted by the time they left that I just wanted to shovel my dinner in my mouth and go to bed.

But, for the first time in a week, I didn't have any help. So we slowly and manically laughed about our current state as I helped Adam get ready for bed and myself as well.

I should also mention that the Target and the Target Optical that Adam works at has been going through a store renovation for the last couple of months and their grand opening was Friday. So his week at work has been extra chaotic as they have been trying to get the store ready. 

Life. Be. Wild.

This was certainly one of those weeks that I totally understand bald Britney with an umbrella.

Wild West Pivot

I needed this more than I knew. The escape to wild lands without much of an agenda and the freedom to do what I wanted, when I wanted was cathartic. In a life regimented by the work clock, the chores clock, the caregiving clock, it was truly a vacation. 

Kathy asked if I got bored driving all those miles. Maybe there were times that I wished I was already there, but those were few and far between. I had open roads, playlists of my music, I could stop when I wanted to, I could drive for hours without stopping. Even my nights in between could be rearranged. 

I touched down in Denver on Thursday afternoon after working that morning. I navigated to the train stop at the airport (with my boot and heavy AF camping gear bag) and rode the light rail to Union Station. Once off the train, I decided to Uber to my hotel (with a very sweet Ethiopian woman) as the walk was nearly a mile and my bum ankle/heavy bag was not ideal.

At the hotel, I got settled and then headed to the restaurant on the first floor for dinner (a BLT and a beer). Once the sun started to set, I promptly fell asleep. In the morning, I showered and then walked a few blocks to meet my dad's cousin Kathy for breakfast. We chatted at ease despite not having met before and probably could've easily spent the entire day drinking coffee, swapping stories.

But alas, I needed to hit the road in attempts to reach the first come, first serve campground of Sugarloaf in Wyoming. I walked a few blocks back to my hotel and packed everything up. I Ubered to pick up my car rental (a 2027 Kia Sportage with 138 miles - which made it even more sad given the events - spoiler alert), grabbed a few provisions at the grocery store (re: a gallon of water, a split of champagne, charcuterie, a baguette, and local IPA).

I chose a route that took me through Winter Park and west of Rocky Mountain National Park. It was a little faster to go directly north, but I was all about scenic routes. Once I finally escaped Denver and I-70 traffic, it was bliss. I wound through mountain roads and watched my altimeter rise and fall among the aspens.

I went through ski towns and around switchbacks, taking video with my Meta sunglasses to share with Adam at home. He bought me the glasses large in part to share my adventures with him and as a solo driver, this was a wonderful use of technology.

I felt a gnawing in my belly after meandering around a creek area in the continental divide and came upon a huge swath of open space for miles and miles. I pulled over to a dilapidated shed on the side of the road and opened my hatch. I still had breakfast hash and ate it while watching very few cars go by. A trio of bike-packers rode by and waved. What a gift it was to enjoy this Friday afternoon in the middle of nowhere.

I crossed into Wyoming without fanfare and the GPS spit me onto a gravel road for a dozen miles. Okkkkkay. I'm no stranger to gravel and dirt roads. I drive a 4x4 Jeep Wrangler at home. She's seen some adventures. But I'm in a rental. It ended up being very well-groomed and I could drive 40 mph on winding roads.

Eventually, it spit me out on the road into Medicine Bow Forest. I made note that there were numerous campsites on my way, but I'd read good things about Sugarloaf so I was headed that way. As I pulled in, I immediately felt disappointed - CAMPGROUND FULL. I made the loop anyway, just to see it. 

I drove to see the lakes and hobbled about, taking a few photos from the parking lot. I decided to use the pit toilet while I was there and to add insult to injury, found that a very heavy period meant I bled all the way through my shorts. Rude.

I changed into new shorts in the car and then went in search of an open campground. I drove all the way down and FULL, FULL. FULL met me. I was very close to giving up and getting a hotel in Laramie or Cheyenne. I had plenty of daylight, but wanted to be settled wherever by sunset. 

I pulled into another full camp area and then sat on the side of the road trying to figure out if I could boondock camp anywhere. I wasn't sure of the rules and though most park rangers are nice about it, I wanted to be a good park citizen.

Well, fate intervened and a public land steward quite literally rolled up next to me. Lowry, a man in his 60s (?), was on his bike and asked if I needed directions or help. I need a place to camp tonight and all the campsites are full. After a bit of back and forth, he realized I was okay with boondocking and told me he was the summer keeper of an event cabin up the road. He'd grab me a map (in this sketchy GPS area) and feed the hummingbirds.

As a woman, I'm often thinking, is this where I'm going to get murdered? But I thought I was a pretty even match for a fistfight with Lowry and obviously, did not get murdered. We had a lovely conversation on the porch of the event house for quite some time that afternoon where I watched hummingbirds and attempted to feed ground squirrels peanuts.

He described a really cool campsite and I managed to make it there in my non-4x4 vehicle, very slowly. It was very quiet and very beautiful. If my ankle wasn't so in disrepair, I would've camped at the top of the hill, hiking up all my gear a few hundred yards. But it was safer and easier to just set up camp near my parked car.  

An hour or so later, Lowry came to make sure I was okay, but didn't linger and cycled back down the hill. I set up my camp and pulled out my charcuterie for dinner. I read in my tent, relishing in the fact I needed my sleeping bag for warmth as the sun set.

I woke shortly after first light and broke down my camp. I cracked open my can of shitty coffee, had my brought-from-home banana, and hit the road. The sunrise was gorgeous coming into Centennial. 

I drove past Laramie and headed north and east, towards Mt. Rushmore. My day's plans were to see the monument and make it to my campsite nearby at 6pm. So the rest of the day was just whatever happened. How serendipitous.

I got a giant cinnamon roll at the diner with Kathy the day before and when my stomach grumbled, I pulled over at the nearest scenic spot. A lovely river with a tiny beach and a picnic table was a perfect spot to take a breakfast break. 

I then carried on all the way to Rushmore, noting Crazy Horse and the Needles Highway were very close. Mt. Rushmore is a bit Disney-esque. It's very people-y with a lot of signage, very clean, and very efficient. I wasn't mad about it. I parked, walked right up to the memorial, took a few photos, and then decided to relax.

I watched the little movie in the museum, read a bunch of the placards, hit the chaotic gift shop, and finally, obtained sustenance. My sister recommended the Thomas Jefferson vanilla ice cream (check) and then because I can't live on ice cream alone, I got a salad and a Fresca. 

Then I headed back to my car and changed my shorts again. Because fuck perimenopause and these stupid heavy periods. I decided I had so much time and could do Crazy Horse and the Needles and still have time. So I went to Crazy Horse and did the bare minimum movie and museum. Then it was time for the Needles Highway!

I hate being a passenger (re: SO MUCH) on a sketchy mountain road, but totally don't mind as a driver. As I wound to the top, I took tons of videos with my glasses and was super excited to share them with Adam. The one-way tunnels were crazy, but we were all on tourist time. I was loving this crazy little detour. 

Until I noticed my dashboard. Oh. My. God. Does that say my PSI on the driver's side passenger is 7? Seven? SEVEN? Fuuuuuuuuck. 

My adrenaline is literally spilling out of my ears. I'm by myself, on a sketchy road, 80 billion miles from home, 20 billion miles from the nearest town. Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!!!

I am in a line of cars and there is no place to pull off for what felt like eternity. It's been 10+ years since I've changed a tire. And I'm in a rental with a fucked ankle. Oh, and did I mention it's 100°+ outside? And while I have satellite phone service (smart last minute move), the internet service is still very sketchy.

When I get to an area to pull off safely, the tire pressure is 5. I can visibly see it's flat, but I don't see any obvious damage. I throw apart the car and quickly realize there is no spare tire. 

What. The. Fuck. 

I quickly look up the nearest gas station on the map and fret because it's at least 30 minutes away.

Little did I know that the route takes me on ANOTHER crazy road with single-lane tunnels and crazy cliffs. I'm going so slow because it's so dangerous and watching the PSI inch towards zero.

I finally arrive at the gas station and there is no “free air” sign. Hell, there is no air sign. Just a couple pumps and a store. I begin to head inside when I notice the key for the rental car has a phone number for roadside emergencies. I eventually sort out getting a tow truck sent, a replacement car, and realize I might miss the window to check into my campsite. I text with Adam to tell him I'm safe and it's sorted, but that I'll probably owe 80 billion dollars for the emergency services. 

Luckily, the next couple of hours were really good all things considered. The camp had no issue with my late arrival and even moved me to a closer site so I could easily find my way. The tow truck driver was super nice and we chatted the entire drive to the Rapid City airport. I basically told him my entire life story in 45 minutes and asked him all about South Dakota. He gave me a great tip to check out Spearfish Canyon. When he offered to carry my bag inside the rental facility at the airport, I let him. I picked up my new car and then stopped at a convenience store for ice and another shitty canned coffee (for the morning).

Despite the crazy day, I got to my campsite before dark and was able to set up my tent, take a much-needed shower, and eat a baguette and fruit at the picnic table for dinner. I read for short while in my tent before falling asleep.

I woke up at 5am or so and broke down my camp quickly and quietly. I then looked at my options for the day. I wanted to go to North Dakota and I had a campsite reserved in the Badlands that night. Otherwise, I had no plans. And the campsites were only $35-$40 so if I had to abandon my plans, I wasn't out a ton of money. I decided to let fate intervene and put in directions to also go through Spearfish Canyon. It was an extra hour, but all I had was time. 

On the way there, I passed runners in what looked to be a marathon in the Black Hills. There was a pang of jealousy and a little sadness that I was supposed to be racing at that exact moment myself.

But I mostly forgot about it the rest of the day. The canyon road was gorgeous. The Spearfish Creek runs alongside the road and giant rock formations jut up on either side. There were a few cyclists and other drivers out on the road, but it was fairly quiet in the early morning hours. I was lucky to come upon a few mountain goats who were near the road and munching on vegetation for breakfast.

I stopped my car and watched the river for a few minutes, enjoying a little morning zen. Eventually, I exited the canyon road and drove through Spearfish on my way north. It wasn't too long before I came to the long stretch of nothing on my way to North Dakota. I checked the gas station situation before I got too far and there appeared to be a few options both before and after hitting the border. 

The road stretched on for miles and the treeless fields stretched even further. I spotted a few antelope galloping a few hundred meters away from the road. The sun was shining and my playlist was perfect. I eventually pulled into a small town to fill up and grab a late breakfast of a sausage biscuit and a second coffee. Both were perfectly mediocre which was kind of comforting for whatever reason. 

My GPS spit me onto an unpaved road for about 10 miles and I got nervous for a minute that something terrible was going to happen again to my (new) car. It was extremely desolate and while I normally pride myself in being able to run for miles, this was not currently the case. Eventually, I came back to a paved road and breathed a sigh of relief. 

I made it to the border sign and snapped a North Dakota selfie. A mom and 2 kids were doing the same on the other side. I offered to take a photo for them, but she declined as they had a fancy tripod set up and informed me they did this at every border. Okkkkkay. Maybe I was being sensitive about being alone in that moment, but it really rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe I needed another snack. I dunno. I drove a quarter mile or so and then made a u-turn to go back into South Dakota, stopping to get a selfie.

Then it was a long drive to the Badlands on country roads full of endless fields and very few other cars. I arrived at a gas station just outside of the park to refuel and take a bathroom break. I searched for a place to eat lunch and found something pretty close by, just on the other side of the park exit. I decided to buy a National Parks Pass at the entrance and thought I might be holding up the line while they got me set up. But the guy just asked if I was a citizen, sized me up, looked at my license, and took my credit card. It was weird. But then I had a pass.

Coming into the park was wow, wow, wow. Almost immediately the views changed into huge spirals of rocks and the roads wound through these monoliths. I was headed to the lunch spot, but noted where my campground was and the nearby visitor's center. 

I exited the south side of the park and arrived at where I thought I'd have lunch. I pulled into the taco stand, but there was just one car in the parking lot and I couldn't see inside. A handwritten sign on the window said girls, girls, girls, live shows. I just wanted lunch. Not a show. I contemplated another nearby restaurant, but it looked equally uninviting so I headed back to the park and hoped the visitor's center had something.

They had a counter restaurant and I ordered a bison Indian taco with a fountain soda. It was too late in the afternoon to drink Diet Coke and sleep well, but I was craving one and hey, it's vacation. I looked over the map of the park while I ate and plotted the rest of my day in the air conditioning. It was nearing 110° outside and even with the air on full blast in the car, it never was chilly. 

I picked up a few souvenirs in the gift shop for myself, Adam, and Megan. Then I headed out to explore the park. I stopped at the first trailhead and wandered out about 100 yards before deciding it was far too hot and dangerous on my ankle to go further. So I stuck to the boardwalks and short paths after that. I drove to each little spot on the right side of the road heading west. I made my way to the prairie dog town area and stood long enough to see some hanging out near their holes before leaping back into the ground. 

As I got to the far end of the park, I decided to go into Wall and check out the tourist shops. It was even crazier than Mt. Rushmore. Katherine asked if I could look for a prairie dog hat for Fritz, but I never found one despite going into a ton of little stores. 

I decided to try to take my time getting back to the campground to stay out of the heat. But, I wanted enough daylight to set up camp and eat some dinner. Plus, there was a ranger and astronomy talk at the amphitheater right next to the campsite that I wanted to attend that evening. 

I called Adam at one of the lookouts on the way back and got to show him a little bit of the park via video. I'd been sharing pictures and videos and told him that while the weather would've been terrible for him (re: hot as bejesus), there were actually tons of accessible things to see. 

The counter service spot seemed like a great idea for dinner, but they were closed when I got back. So I went into the little town that had the girls, girls, girls taco stand and went to the gas station in search of dinner provisions. I bought a pint of strawberries, a twin pack of cheese sticks, and a bag of ice. 

Back at camp, I put my split of champagne in the bag of ice along with a beer. I then set up my tent and got everything ready for the evening and next morning. It was going to rain overnight so I wanted to make sure I also had my rain tarp on and all my gear ready in case I needed to hop in the car and/or leave early in the morning. 

I popped the champagne and ate some strawberries, cheese, and crackers (salvaged from the charcuterie kit). As I watched the sunset, I snapped a bunch of photos of the cloudy sky and enjoyed this very carefree moment. I decided to pour my beer in my reusable cup and head to the amphitheater. The astronomer had already set up the telescope to view the moon and invited everyone to come look. Unfortunately, as I was standing waiting, the clouds covered the moon for essentially the rest of the night. 

The talks were interesting and I really appreciated this little extra thing the parks do on summer nights. The amphitheater was packed by the time it started and I was glad I got there early. When it was over, I rushed to the nearest restroom and then headed to my tent. 

It was really warm for 10pm and the rain tarp made it like a sauna. So I took it off, knowing I'd be putting it back on at some point. It was too warm to sleep easily so I lied wide awake, cursing the Diet Coke from earlier in the day. Eventually I dozed off because the next thing I knew, I was being rained on. At first it felt good because it was finally cool, but then I needed to get the tarp on. 

About a half hour later, the real storm came rolling through. My body weight was the only thing keeping my tent on the ground. The wind was so strong that the sides were plastered against my body. I was wide awake as I watched the lightning light up the inside of the tent and listened to it crackle. 

The only good news was that I remained perfectly dry despite the fact that I was nearly certain my tent was going to be ripped apart. I thought about going to my car, but breaking down my tent in the dark, rain, and wind seemed like a recipe for disaster. And I certainly couldn't get out of it without it blowing away, even though it was staked down.

I eventually passed out again and woke at first light. The wind was still whipping so loudly that it kept me awake and so after lying there with the tent smacking me in the face, I just decided to get going.

After taking out the poles, I threw the wet shell of the tent in the back of the car and would deal with it later. I used this time where it finally was a bit cooler to go walking around on a few of the shorter trails in the Badlands. I really wanted to go on the full Notch trail, but it has a very sketchy ladder section and I thought better of it with my ankle when I saw how steep it was. 

But I did see a mountain goat on this trail and spent probably 20 minutes just watching it go about its morning. I snapped a few sunrise photos and then went to visit a few other really short trails. 

I was wearing my new Badlands shirt and hobbling around with one trekking pole. I told people coming in the opposite direction about the mountain goat and gave directions to a trail in the parking lot. Maybe I looked official? Maybe it was the bold confidence of being a haggard single traveler? 

It was about 7am when I was finished with my tour and so I stopped at the visitor's center for a breakfast bowl and iced coffee. Then I did one more walk through the visitor's center and tried to decide where to go with the ultimate goal of getting to Scottsbluff, Nebraska that evening. 

I landed on going to the White River Visitor's Center after the ranger mentioned it in his talk the night before. The drive was stunning, but very remote. This tiny little center seemed to exist in the middle of nowhere. A few indigenous people were selling crafts outside the center and I said good morning before going inside. I read all about the Lakota people and the surrounding lands at the center. All things that my late 80s/early 90s education seemed to be missing. It's really shitty what settlers did to the land and people. And with my family being from the Midwest, it's highly likely due to at least someone in my blood lineage. I think about how so much of what I've ever read in terms of history comes with so much propaganda and influence from the person writing it. All the more reason to continue traveling with an open mind and open heart to learn that our existence on this planet are all so vastly different.

As I exited and tried to figure out my next steps, I hemmed and hawed about it. I had so much time, but wasn't sure if I wanted to drive any more than I already had. Ultimately, I went for the longer route to try to see some more of Custer State Park. 

Once I got back to the park, the entrance worker scolded me for “transferring my tag” that I had bought a few days prior. It was a sticky tag that adhered to the windshield and I pulled it off the flat tire car and kept it for the new car. I explained I had to get a new rental due to the flat and that's why it had been pulled off. She seemed a little skeptical, like I was using someone else's pass, but ultimately let me in. 

As soon as I was on the Wildlife Loop I was rewarded immediately with bison! Multiple herds within the first few miles. I watched them safely from a distance and inside my car. But it's so cool to see them in person. If it hadn't been so hot, I would've watched longer.

I made my way through the park and then exited into Wind Cave National Park where I saw even more bison. At this point, I was getting hungry for lunch so I just drove through to get to the next town.

In Hot Springs, I stopped at an ice cream & burger shop for a locally sourced burger. I was too full for ice cream unfortunately, but it looked incredible. Then it was a very rainy and desolate drive to Nebraska, complete with a wildfire sighting in the distance at one point. 

I made my way to the hotel I reserved and relaxed for a few moments before heading out to explore. I went to Scotts Bluff National Monument, but the upper area was already closed for the day. I was able to explore the area down below and there were brochures available for after hours visitors.

I then went to a park along the North Platte River and watched both the water and a nearby train go by from a bench. My journey was coming to an end and I wanted to enjoy these last few moments of solitude. 

There were a ton of chain restaurants in town, but I was determined to go to someplace local. I drove around awhile until I ended up at an Italian place. I sat at the bar and had a barfly talk my ear off while I wolfed down a stromboli. I normally love random chats, but I just wasn't feeling it and bolted as soon as I could. 

I almost headed back to the hotel directly, but the golden hour skies were absolutely magical. So I spent the next hour driving all around town, hopping out of the car and taking photos of old theaters, silos, dilapidated hotels, sunflowers, water towers, and anything else that looked cool. It reminded me so much of Salina, the town in Kansas that my parents grew up in and that I've spent visiting my whole life. 

Back at the hotel, I finally took a shower after 2 full days of grime and blasted the AC. I slept like a brick and needed my alarm to wake up. 

I had breakfast at the hotel and then headed back to Denver via Wyoming. Kathy offered to pick me up from the car rental facility in downtown Denver and take me to the airport. She got me there in plenty of time and it was nice to spend another half hour chatting with her. 

At the airport, I realized I felt like I'd been gone for weeks. Not just 5 days. The time away from work and mundane chores and caregiving and sadness about my ankle was much needed. Doing what I wanted, when I wanted, in a beautiful place was just the thing I needed.